Instruction Manual
My problem with purpose surfaces, yet again…
In a single day, I’ve managed to alienate my sister, another friend, and the direction of my entire future…
What makes matters worse is… I can’t see how I could be wrong…
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I don’t miss my former -socially merry- self, nor do I ever want to be that person again.
I’ve been trying to figure my current self out quite recently. There have been some changes in my life that I haven’t adapted to at all. I’ve been a little tense, stressed and quite lost around them… so I’m going to go back to the way things worked for me.
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How:
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not that hard to befriend or be around. I simply have a problem with purpose (relevant only to me), and as such, I see very little point in having friends at all. I have friends.
The way I see it, there exists an invisible contract between any two people who seek interaction from one another. This contract states that all and any interaction must be beneficial to both parties. This is achievable only through the exchange of two things.
The first is help. Be it physical, spiritual, and/or psychological. Which involves the concept of ‘question and answer.’
The second is knowledge. Which also involves the concept of ‘question and answer.’
(There is a separate contract for marriage. Which I believe adds the concept of ‘sex’ to the above equation.)
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Those terms are the only ones I can be bound by when interacting with people. Do not expect more from me, and most importantly, do not expect less. The principle that houses all of this for me is a very real one. The law of conservation of mass and energy.
What on Earth are you talking about, Hamad?
I’ll explain.
That law states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed from one state to another, and that any mass that undergoes a chemical transformation must result in the very same value of the initial mass.
For those of you who want different but similar concepts: Karma. God. Universe. Etc…
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Ask for my help, and I will do my best to help you under the above mentioned terms, housed by the above mentioned principle.
Ask for my knowledge, and I shall happily tell you what I have come to know under the above mentioned terms, housed by the above mentioned principle.
If, however, you do not need my help, nor my knowledge, and I need not either of yours. Then I see no point in our interacting. Do you?
What is the point of interacting with you at all then, Hamad?
Indeed, a good question. I take a certain pleasure in helping people, provided that I am directly asked for it and that it is well within my ability to. I take an even greater joy in answering hard-to-answer life-related questions, provided that I am directly asked and that it is well within my ability to.
I am not god. I cannot be alone. I have questions too, which you might give me answers to, or help me in answering.
If you, too, take pleasure in helping and teaching other people. Then you and I will have great conversations.
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The problematique:
A lot of you want to discuss how you’ve been wronged by people you choose over and over to be in the presence of. I don’t want to hear it.
A lot of you want to discuss the latest in fashion, gossip, what was said, and what was done. I don’t want to hear it.
A lot of you just want to talk. I’m sorry, I can’t do that if there is no purpose.
If I have pushed you away, then I truly hope you understand. If you think I am arrogant, selfish, and every other ill term in a dictionary. Then I hope one day you will realize that happiness comes through knowledge, and knowledge comes with the burden of knowing.
If I haven’t pushed you away, this is my instruction manual to help you understand me better. Regardless of which category you fall under, there is no hate in my heart for you, only respect. That, I promise you.
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Why:
This method keeps me happy. It is fair to both you and I. There is no room for disrespect, hatred, spite, or breaking of any boundaries. Your world remains intact, as well as my own.
What more could one want?
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Artwork: Agnes-Cecile
I read all that, and then when it came to the question at the end, one word came to mind. Company.
I think the most probable conclusion I can come up with here is that your constant thirst for knowledge and your never ending search for truth is what keeps you company, which is why perhaps people are mere objects that you transform energy through. Personalities are like materials with different consistencies and viscosities.. Energy being transformed from one person to another differs in velocity and result. With some most of the energy goes to waste, others are more efficient.
It makes sense I guess, logically it makes a lot of sense and I respect it. But I have to disagree.
There’s one factor I have failed to take into consideration.. It’s the human soul. It’s so complex I don’t think anyone would ever come to understand it. Again, it’s from what I see here in the hospital :P Medicine versus Physics heheh .. You see, people coming into the hospital are stripped from all the masks they wear, because they have lost the one thing they take for granted. Health.
People who are ill instantly feel better and happier amongst family and friends, who gossip, and just talk for the sake of just talking :P..
It is really strange, because you’d think people who lose health wouldn’t engage or find comfort in shallow conversations. But then I realized, we have a soul, and everything people do, and say, it’s all because they’re trying to reach out, to connect.
I find comfort in silence and solitude sometimes, but why do I find myself talking to my cats about silly little things that happen during the day?
I think souls desperately want to connect, with something, anything.. Souls don’t have the ability to be alone. Which is why you choose knowledge, it’s your souls companion ..
And I guess I’ll always have my cats :P
April 9, 2011 at 10:34 pm
PS: I don’t think I should’ve commented on your instruction manual lol but sorry couldn’t help it :P
April 9, 2011 at 10:38 pm
Hello Coconut! ^_^
You bring to me interesting aspects that are generally inaccessible to me! =)
Your thoughts and explanations are much appreciated and highly valued! You bring about more knowledge to me and for that, I cannot thank you enough. =)
In terms of health (or lack of), I can only speak from experience (or lack of), I guess. And if there is only one thing I have concluded, it is that pain can be a most persuasive salesman.
People are redundant, repetitive, and very similar to each other. And they all share a common desire to fill an emptiness that can never be filled, or so it seems. It saddens me to a small extent.
In some formulas pertaining to physics and mathematics, there exists two types of parameters, variables and constants. We’re the variables. ^_^
Other aspects of life can be deemed constants. When, in reality, all is relative to the greater and lesser.
These formulas become invalid and chaotic when the ‘constant’ parameter is removed. It leaves the variables ‘ungrounded’, if you will.
Your patients walk in, in a now very changed state. Pain. Thus, they become now ungrounded since the (good health) constant parameter, has been removed. Thus, chaos follows.
This is where I believe, the measure of a person is clearly visible. Will this person remember his or her other constants? Things such as knowledge, principle, morals, values, and virtues? Or will they simply not remember them at their now very changed and new state?
Maybe you yourself have seen many who don’t care. And yet, maybe you’ve also seen that one in a million person who’s very grounded and sharp minded despite the persuasive salesman at his/her very doorstep?
I’m guessing the ones who find comfort in their old constants after the illness is lifted are just happy to have a constant in their lives. Such as the friends and family members who talk for the sake of talking. ^_^
I respect all of that, but I am also aware of its volatility. =)
Constant talk is not a trustworthy constant, because it is weak and finite.
Constant people/family/friends do not form a very constant ground, because they too are volatile and finite.
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Thus, my good friend, that is why I believe neither you nor I are wrong in our endeavors.
There is no difference between what you do and what I do.
I talk to myself, myself does not talk back.
You talk to your cats, and your cats do not talk back. ^_^
Both equally productive ways of curing our hopeless need of connecting. If only in slightly different ways. =)
And productivity, or purpose, is key.
Which is why I believe these clear cut terms, rules and boundaries serve as a great ‘funnel’, if you will, that brings me just what I need in the correct dosages. =)
I have a Cockatiel now ^_^ hahah
Thanks again Coconut! ^_^ Wishing you much joy!
April 15, 2011 at 1:13 am
What if the constant is constantly changing? Lol life is so confusing!
Heheh thank you.. Your presence has been greatly missed :)
Wish you a purposeful life! :p
April 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm
Agreed with Coconut. I believe facts and figures should be used after one has made their decision, and not used to make the decision. Had the human soul been created simple, there wouldn’t have been factors like tradition, culture, emotions, and religions that vary from each other. Also, had our minds (note: by mind, I don’t mean brain) been crystal clear to understand, there wouldn’t be what therapists call rational and irational behaviour, and there wouldn’t be a need for an instruction manual.
April 12, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Hello anonymous stranger! ^_^
Your words indicate a great deal of conviction. ^_^
I believe your greatest challenge is questioning these very convictions. And why should you do so? I certainly am but another speaking person. And to overlook that, you will see that by doing so, you shall understand some things that could be relevant only to you, devoid of any proof that I might need.
If you do not see the need in doing so, then please humor me. ^_^
Consider this…
The Human Soul –
Chapter 1 – Creation:
It was created simple.
vs.
The Human Soul
Chapter 1 – Creation:
It was created complex.
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Both of these statements (or truths) are two very clear absolutes.
Now, ask yourself this…
Why have you chosen to believe the latter? Why would anyone even choose to believe the former?
Which of these statements are, in fact, true?
If you couldn’t answer any of the above questions, then you and I are on the same page. And I’ll tell you why you couldn’t answer them at the very least.
Consider this…
Life
Chapter 1 – Knowledge:
The question drives us.
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We are created without much knowledge at all. And there’s a good reason for that. Human beings generally take a step-by-step approach to everything in life. This is clearly seen in babies learning to crawl and then taking their first steps, until one day they are athletic runners for example.
The reason you and I can’t answer any of the above questions is because we haven’t asked the first question.
What is the human soul?
Until we can answer that initial question, we really should stay away from any one person’s conviction on what state the human soul was created in, simple or complex.
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Our minds are never fully understood. On a scale of relativity, all is insane and all is healthy. There can never be a single state at which one can point to and say “Yes, this person is healthy and rational.”
If people wish to create cultures, religions, and portrayals of how emotions function, then they are free to do so. These things concern me very little if not at all. =)
I simply wish to have some grasp of truth, in which this instruction manual will help me do so.
Besides, at the very least, instruction manuals tend to come with anything complex. ^_^
I wish you much luck, friend, and would like to hear more of your thoughts!
Thank you! =)
April 15, 2011 at 1:59 am